One of the things I was most concerned about when we were given information at the SDA appointment about Brandon’s past was how he would act towards me as his mother. To some children the idea of a mother (or either parent for that matter) is not a happy or nurturing picture in their minds. Many orphans all over the world have been abandoned by their parents, or abused. Conversely, many orphans loved their parents dearly but lost them to death or tragedy and now they guard themselves from loving any parent figure (this was the case with Maxim and Roman).
Praise God this is not the case with Brandon. He is very close to Tim and would follow him around all day long, every single day of his life if he could. He loves to wrestle and never, ever wins against his bully-of-a-dad, but always comes back for more anyway. He loves to play sports with Tim and help him in the yard. If he doesn’t want to wear something all I have to say is “Daddy loves this” and somehow he loves it as well.
It is neat to see how he looks up to Tim so much and I can't think of a better role model for my son than Tim.
However, as much as he loves his dad, I would still classify him as a Mama’s Boy. I can do no wrong in his eyes. It doesn’t matter if we both know that I’m wrong, he takes my side. If the girls try to talk back to me, Brandon jumps in and scolds them. He is always giving me gifts. If he earns a candy treat at school, he will hold it all day long in his pocket to give to me when he first gets in the car. When we were in Maryland, he picked flowers for me. With a big smile he handed me the flowers, roots, dirt and all, but they were the most wonderful flowers I’d ever been given by a boy. I remember the first gift he gave me. It was a blue plastic bracelet when he was still living in the orphanage.
I will never part with that precious gift.
He never, ever turns down hugs. He gives me hugs and tells me he loves me several times a day. If we’re watching a movie he likes to snuggle as close as he can to me without actually sitting on my lap. He likes when I scratch his back or run my fingers through his thick, blonde hair. Three weeks ago we both had our hair cut at the same time. He sat across from me getting his hair done while my hairdresser had my hair up in the clips so she could cut long layers. Brandon looked over at me and said, “Cross-E-Vee Mommy” which means “Beautiful Mommy.” Only a Mama’s boy could think I was beautiful with wet, sopping hair in ugly hair clips!
He absolutely loves to help me cook in the kitchen. He is really a good cook already. I have never seen a boy so young cut vegetables so perfectly for stir fry like he can. He stirs and sniffs and breathes the scents all in and adds some more seasoning. He is very, very specific with every measurement.
Last month we had to move some heavy shelving around in the garage to make room for our extra freezer and he grunted and lifted both shelves into place while I stood back and watched in amazement at how eagerly he worked, just because I asked him to help. When Katie left for camp, I started to lift her 50 pound suitcase into the car and he took it from me and insisted that he put it in the car for me.
My favorite thing he has done was when we were shopping at Dick’s Sporting Goods. We were actually there to purchase rollerblades for Katie’s birthday. We were walking down the aisle and Brandon stopped dead in his tracks and said, “Mommy, please Ku-peet (buy) this. Please. Cross-E-Vee (You will be beautiful) Mommy. Cross-E-Vee.” I looked at the price and reasoned in my mind I didn’t “need” a new shirt, but he would not take no for an answer. He wanted to buy it for me. When we got home and I put it on, he looked at me and he was so proud that I was wearing what he had picked out for me. I asked him if he liked it and he beamed with delight and said, “Yes. Mama is beautiful (in that) shirt.”
Now, don’t get me wrong. My girls are just as helpful in the kitchen. They compliment me all the time. They would lift things if they could. They have been Mommy’s girls all their lives and would gang up with me against Daddy any day (i.e. about what movie to watch, what restaurant to eat at, whose job it was to do the dishes, etc). But there is something about a mother’s love toward a son and a son’s love towards a mother that melts my heart from the inside out. It’s similar to the special love of the girls have towards Tim and his special love for them that Tim’s been experiencing all these years. I had no idea what I was missing out on until I actually experienced it for myself. I can’t help it, it’s true. I’m smitten by the love of my precious son. I am SO blessed!!!
|The shirt Brandon picked out for me.|