Feelings? Well. Honestly, they hurt. If there was a switch to shut off the feelings right now, I’d use it. It means a lot that all of you are bearing some of our burdens in love as is taught in the Bible. It does help alleviate the pain a little knowing all of you care. Thank you.
For those of you who are wondering what all has happened, our 11-year-old son Brandon went into eternity today around 12:30 in the afternoon. Obviously we haven’t heard back from the autopsy exam, but he had what appeared to be the flu. He was vomiting and holding his tummy since last night. He had a break for about 3 hours before it started up again around lunch time. He threw up on his bed and carpet. Then he went in for a shower. I never saw him alive again. I believe he was gone before I got the bathroom door unlocked and opened.
I can’t imagine walking through this without my Lord and Savior. The verse that keeps running through my head is, “The Lord giveth and He taketh away. Blessed by the name of the Lord.” Blessed be the name of the Lord. I am humbled that my Heavenly Father loved me enough to sent His only Son to earth, to die in my place, so that I, and anyone who believes can live eternally. He giveth life. He takes life away. He gives joy. He takes away sickness and pain. He gives faith and peace and hope and love and comfort. He takes away the sin of those who recognize that all of us are lousy sinners in desperate need of a Savior. Those of us who recognize this, repent and place our faith in Christ and only Christ get to live eternally in Heaven, forever. He gives eternal life.
I do not question His goodness. I was not ready to give my son back. I only got to enjoy him for 8 months. But I trust my Heavenly Father. He’s going to walk me through this. He’s given me the gift of all of you reading this. He has given me the gift of thousands of photos of my son….all of which he was smiling. He has given me my 3 sweet, baby girls. He has given me my precious husband. He’s given me my parents (and family) and Tim’s family (all of it). He’s given me hope: One day He’ll wipe these tears from my eye.
Feelings? Well. I feel a little better. Thanks for allowing me to get some of my pain out on “paper.”