Monday, April 28, 2014

Crisis Situations: Be Kind. Always.

I’ve recently read a quote that goes something like this: Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so ALWAYS BE KIND.

I know personally at least 50 people who are in a crisis situation in their lives right now.  Crisis situations can range from health issues to tragic relational issues to financial issues.  What I am discovering and what I am particularly sensitive to (and a bit frustrated about) is how people are treating the people in the crisis situations.

When Pastor Rick Warren’s son committed suicide, his newsfeeds were blasted with unhelpful comments about what he could have done to help his son, that his son is in hell and perhaps what his son needed was to read the books he’d written.  They suggested that Pastor Warren would use this as an opportunity to write a book with the motivation of making money off his son’s death.

An Arizona mother left her two small children unattended in a hot car while she attended a job interview.  She was arrested.  The hate mail that poured in at her was crazy.  I’m sure this young mother realized after the fact that this was poor judgment on her part, but my heart went out to her because where were her friends?  Where was her family?  Where is the father of the two  children?  Something tells me that this woman was in crisis and needed help yet not a soul stepped out to help this young mom with her small children.

Right now I have several friends battling depression or mental illnesses.  I know some parents that have terminally ill children, or children who struggle with their health continually.  Some of my friends are battling serious, ongoing health problems of their own.  I know lonely people who are lonesome for varying reasons.  I know families who are hurting because a family member is far away from them, most commonly in our area are military families.  I know people who have lost loved ones.  I know people struggling in their marriages and people struggling with their finances.  I’m burdened today because people, as far as the eye can see, are hurting.

One thing that makes me disappointed is when people feel the need to kick the hurting when they are down.  People need to keep ignorant and unhelpful thoughts to themselves.  The truth is some situations are out of our hands, but others are brought on by mistakes.  It doesn't matter which case is true of the crisis.  No one needs to hear, “You woulda, shoulda, coulda” when they are in a crisis situation.  No one needs to say to those people, “You just like attention and drama.”  If you have never experienced something, don’t suggest that they need more faith to be healed.  If you have never endured the death of a loved one, do not assume that you know how they feel.  If someone has a dying child or if someone has miscarried, don’t say, “Well at least you have 3 other healthy kids.”

For goodness sake, do not gossip or talk about people in crisis situations.  If someone wants you to know something, they will tell you themselves.  If they do not talk to you personally about it, there is a good chance it is none of your business or you have proven in the past untrustworthy.

Do not ignore the hurting.  If you pretend the hurt doesn't exist, the hurting hurts worse.  Being deserted or feeling ignored sometimes hurts worse than the actual crisis. 

Think about how you might feel if you were in a crisis situation.  Would you want harsh words or judgment from people who have no idea what they are talking about?  Would you want people jumping to conclusions, or talking about you behind your back?  Would you want to be left alone to deal with a crisis unassisted?

What you can do for the hurting is tell them you care.  Tell them you are praying for them.  Ask them how you can help.  If you know they are hurting financially, send them a gift card.  Send them a friendly email.  Send them a small gift to brighten their day.  If you have no idea what to say, still send them a card telling them, “I have no idea what to say, but I want you to know you’re loved and I care.”  Do something, do ANYTHING kind.  Do not leave the hurting to hurt alone!  The Bible says, “Dear children, let us not love only with words or speech, but with actions and in truth” (I John 3:18).

Sometimes our sin nature causes us to form opinions or conclusions about people when we have no idea what we are talking about.  This comes off as judgmental behavior and it is hurtful.  Always remember that things are not as they seem and that if we truly love someone we will show them love, not condemn them or kick them when they are down.  Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.  Be kind.  Always.  And when you know about a battle, also be kind.  Always.

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us.  And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (I John 3:16).



  1. Absolutely fabulous article! So true! The Lord has blessed you with a terrific gift of writing!

  2. For real. The heartache around each of us demands our compassion.
    Love them like Jesus

  3. Great reminder! Thank you, Carinda!

  4. My heart aches for so many people right now in different situations. This is a great reminder for us all.

  5. I don't normally share other peoples blogs but this one is a good one but not just BC I am one of the suffering. Everybody deserves to be treated with kindness no matter the battle that you are going though. God doesn't give everybody the same test but the test that is custom made for you.

  6. definitely worth sharing!

  7. Someone said I should persuade you to put these blogs into a book.

  8. This is so true. The Lord has reminded me many times through some things He has put me through lately the truth of your words (not just for myself, but for others also). Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom. May the Lord continue to bless your family.