Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Contacting a Medium

I am always so thankful for all the comments that I get here on the blog and also the personal emails that I get from those who do not want to post a comment publicly for all to read.  Thank you to those of you who comment and  who are kind enough to leave your name so I know who is following our journey.

I wanted to share something that one sweet commenter wrote:

Your family is so near and dear to my heart.   You have been blessed with such a beautiful family and it saddens me that Brandon is not with you in his physical body.  I have been following your blog since 2012 when it first happened.  I think of you very often and read every one of your posts and I’ve been wanting to ask if you have ever considered talking to a medium?  I have had a few friends who have lost loved ones and this helped them greatly.  They were able to find out exactly what happened in the final moments before death and also know that their loved one is okay and happy now.  I thought you should at least try it once to see if it can help you with the grief you are experiencing.  Love and prayers, AG 

When I first read that, I thought how neat it would be if it were possible to talk with Brandon.  I know our daughter, Kylie, asked if it was weird if she talked to Brandon and sang “Happy Birthday” to him last spring at his graveside when her brother would have turned 13.  I told her I didn’t see anything wrong with her talking or singing to Brandon.  I told her I wasn’t sure he’d hear her, but just in case it wouldn’t hurt. 

I really don’t know whether or not dead people have access to the earth after they die.  I have heard people say the dead are closer than you think, and that they still are very much part of your lives even if you cannot see their physical body.  I’m not exactly sure I believe all that because why would anyone who has experienced Heaven even want to return to earth?  I believe the Bible when it says that when the believer is “absent from the body he is present with the Lord.” I do not think a human being can be both in Heaven with God and on the earth shadowing their loved ones somehow.

I do know that there are many times when I feel very close to Brandon.  Several months ago I dreamed about Brandon.  We were in our back yard and it’d been a long time since I saw him so he ran to me and jumped up in my arms and wrapped his arms and legs around me.  I remember holding him and thinking “Goodness, he is getting too big to be held like this anymore.  He is SO heavy.  But I like him close to me so I’ll hold on to him until my arms fall off if I have to.” He put his cheek on my cheek and I could smell him.  Oh, my word, it sure did stink when my alarm clock cut that dream short!!!!

Another time I felt close to him was more recently when I saw a bat on its back on the sidewalk.  The last time I’d been anywhere near a bat was in 2011 when I was in Odessa, Ukraine with Brandon.  It was one of the Ukraine holidays and we were out at night on the balcony of the apartment watching fireworks.  All the sudden I heard wings and a multitude of “birds” went flying in a hurry.  They flew so close to me I could feel the air from their wings.  I screamed and ran inside the apartment.  Brandon was laughing his head off at me (Mind you I'd only been legally his Mama for less than 12 hours!!). I asked him in Russian “Are they birds?” He laughed even louder and said in Russian, “No, Mama.  They’re bats.” He kept laughing and saying “Tweet, Tweet.  Tweet, Tweet.” Then he’d fake-scream like I had screamed earlier (I miss my big-tease-of-a-son!).   As I looked down at the bat on the sidewalk not long ago, I felt close enough to hear Brandon laughing at me, “Tweet, Tweet.” 

Any time I’m not real sure about something I try to find what God has to say about it in the Bible.  I know that recently in my devotions Zechariah 10:2 jumped out at me because I had been thinking about what this blog commenter had asked me a few weeks ago regarding contacting a medium to communicate with Brandon.  The verse says, “the diviners see lies; they tell false dreams and give empty consolation.  Therefore the people wander like sheep.”  Leviticus 19:31 seems pretty clear when it says, “Regard not them that have familiar spirits, neither seek after wizards, to be defiled by them: I am the LORD your God.” In the familiar passage in Galatians 5, it talks about various things that God hates and wants Christians to avoid.  Right in the middle of the long list of things to avoid, in verse 20 it mentions specifically staying away from any witchcraft. So the Bible pretty much forbids Christians from anything that has to do with witches, mediums and talking to familiar spirits.  It’s not even a grey area.  It is black and white—It is off limits to me as a believer. 

I know a lot of people probably find comfort in contacting mediums, but the Bible says that diviners are just telling lies.  Even if whatever they are telling the grieving individual seems true or happy, it’s a lie.  And it will cause the hurting person even more sorrow.  I could definitely see how that type of thing would comfort someone for a moment, but I can also see how a grieving person could be taken advantage of by that industry.  Who better to make money off from than a grieving person desperate to hear from their loved ones?  Who better for the devil to deceive than someone weakened by such a deep void?—The Bible described it like a tender sheep and a lion wandering to and fro seeking whom he could devour.    I have read plenty of books about people who have been caught up with wizards and mediums and wound up in a very dark place, attempting to commit suicide.  Please, my friends BE CAREFUL!

While I very much appreciate the comments and the compassion, contacting a medium is not something I will do.   NOT EVER.  I love to remember Brandon’s life and look at his beautiful pictures.  I love hearing stories about him while he was living.  I look forward to seeing him again in Heaven one day.  Until then, I will just have to hurt. Oh, and I know my boy is happy because he’s with GOD!!!!  I’ll be just fine because God is good all of the time and I have the blessed hope of His glorious appearing.  Grace and Peace to all! 


  1. Wonderfully done, Carinda. And I recognize that picture. Third grade Christmas party. Waffles and ice cream. Brandon was skeptical. Thanks for sharing with us.

  2. Love. It. Beautifully written. You are right, God is good, ALL the time. Even in our sorrow. Thank you for touching on this subject!