I was really dreading today very much. I was pleasantly surprised that I felt a peace about today and that I didn’t break out into an ugly cry until after the burial and I was in the limo! I am so thankful for answered prayers!
When we arrived, we walked into the foyer and down the halls of the church and there were hundreds of pictures the students had drawn, letters and banners all showing their love for our son. I can’t wait to read them one by one. They had arranged a basketball hoop and a soccer goal and many things he enjoyed. They had 3 baskets full of goodies for the girls. That really brightened their day.
Tim and I viewed our son first. It was hard for Tim to see and he held me tight as he cried. For me as I looked at my boy an incredible peace came over me. The last time I saw him it was so difficult and very traumatic. It was hard to know he died in a place that was cold and definitely was not good enough for my precious boy. If he had to die, it should have been in my arms or on his bed. Today he just looked like my handsome boy sleeping.
The girlies all cried when they saw their brother. It was especially hard for Katie. She hurts internally and hugs didn’t seem to comfort her in that moment. She had a very difficult time writing a good bye letter to him. All 5 of us wrote something special to him and put it in with him.
We were blessed with hundreds of friends and family who came out to the viewing. Every one of you mean the world to us. There were many, many tears and a whole lot of hugs.
The funeral was amazing. August played his guitar that Brandon used to enjoy so much. The band played. Jessica sang. Pastor Jonathan led worship. The BBA high school lovingly and beautifully sang. It was fun to hear his teacher Joey Kellett tell stories about school and Brandon’s Coach, Pastor Dave, to share about basketball clinic. Dad Kerr shared from a grandfather’s heart (the kids all call him BeBe). Pastor Sean preached a wonderful lesson and shared 3 great emails confirming Brandon’s understanding of salvation. If you are interested, you can view the funeral on our church’s website (http://www.bbcfnc.org). I was so thankful Pastor Sean took the reins this week. I had no idea how to prepare the proper funeral service that I felt my son deserved. The service, the slides, the program all turned out so beautiful. Every little personal touch and everyone who contributed made it so special for our son. He was SO well loved.
Pastor Dwayne did the graveside service. It was hard to hold back the tears. It was cold outside. My son hated being cold. He shivered all the time. I would often get him a blanket or sweatshirt to warm him up because it bothered me to see him cold. Many came out to the graveside to say goodbye. I never expected so many to come. But it meant a lot that you did.
Finally, I was so thankful that my dear friend, Michelle, took photos of the whole thing. In time I may share the photos with you. For now, I flip through them here or there. In 8 months, one 11-year-old (former orphan) boy touched several thousand lives. I say this because I have had 29,000 hits to this blog in one week. That means 29,000 people care about his life. It’s hard to imagine, but so very encouraging. Thank you, EVERYONE, so very much for being there for us on a very tough day.
Well, my beautiful Carinda, you brought out the "Ugly Cry" with your two beautiful blogs this evening. I cry for your precious little girls, for your dear husband, and for you. I haven't lost a child, but I have lost brothers, one of whom felt like my child. From the time he was little, even though I wasn't all that much older than he, I tried to show him a mother's love, and he, along with the 3 born after him, called me Mama. When my precious Lyle left this earth and went to be with the Lord I thought my heart was being ripped from my chest. I grieved like a mother losing a son, and a sister losing a brother. I can only tell you that after time it does become the 'new normal' ... and God is so very merciful and He does walk us through each minute of the day, reminding us to breath, eat, smile, and assuring us that HE is God, and that we don't need all the answers now, we just need to trust Him. I too was honored with a dream after my dear sweet Lyle passed. In the dream I saw a 'normal sized' man walking toward me, smiling the amazing smile I had always known. I asked him if he was happy and he just smiled and nodded, yes, and I could see that he wasn't in pain anymore. I told him that I'd never wish him back here, with me, not now. I rest in the knowledge that he is with Jesus, and that I will see him again, one day.
ReplyDeleteDoes it get easier, yes. Are there still hard days, even after all these years, yes, but God is so loving, so merciful. He dries my tears, and allows me to encourage others.
I love you all, and I am praying, constantly. I love you!