Friday, November 25, 2011

Is Adoption God's "Plan B?"

I love to read pretty much anything.  I like to read books, articles, online journals, the news and blogs.  I especially like to read adoption blogs.  I find it very encouraging to read about other experiences of those who are basically in the same boat as we are.  I recently stumbled across a specific blog that I’ve posted below. I usually agree with what this author says and usually laugh hysterically while I read as well.  The author is a very descriptive and gifted writer.  In one particular post the author was giving “do’s and don’ts” for those who interact with those who have just adopted.  The author was very candid about what bothers us who have adopted that people say or do to us or our children and also gave tips about what we do need after we’ve recently adopted.  This last post I read recently, though, caught my attention and I thought I’d post a bit of what was said.  I’d love to know what you guys think about this and if you agree or disagree with what was said.  Anyway, here’s part of what was written:

***If we’ve adopted older kids, please do not ask them if they “love America so much” or are “so happy to live in Texas.” It’s this simple: adoption is born from horrible loss. In an ideal world, there would be no adoption, because our children would be with their birth families, the way God intended. I’ll not win any points here, but I bristle when people say, “Our adopted child was chosen for us by God before the beginning of time.” No he wasn’t. He was destined for his birth family. God did not create these kids to belong to us. He didn’t decide that they should be born into poverty or disease or abandonment or abuse and despair all so they could finally make it into our homes, where God intended them to be. No. We are a very distant Plan B. Children are meant for their birth families, same as my biological kids were meant for mine. Adoption is one possible answer to a very real tragedy… after it has already happened, not before as the impetus for abandonment. There is genuine grief and sorrow when your biological family is disrupted by death and poverty, and our kids have endured all this and more. So when you ask my 8-year-old if he is thrilled to be in Texas, please understand that he is not. He misses his country, his language, his food, his family. Our kids came to us in the throes of grief, as well they should. Please don’t make them smile and lie to you about how happy they are to be here.*** (

In response to this post my initial thoughts were that Tim and I are NOT a “very distant Plan B” for Brandon’s life.  I believe God is Sovereign.  Brandon was created by God and for God.  God was not surprised at all that Brandon was born into poverty, disease or abandonment.  He was born in those conditions because his parents (and the family lineage) were sinners, like all of humankind is. 

Unfortunately the reality is we do live in a fallen world, and I believe the Bible teaches that God's eye is on every circumstance, even the unpleasant or tragic ones. Does the author of this blog truly believe that God’s purpose is to constantly struggle to come up with Plan B’s to humanity’s “mess ups?”  That sounds like a very weak god to me.  I want no part in a god that is caught off guard or a god who simply lives to meet the needs of humankind.  That is quite backwards.  We were created to serve Him.  His name should be glorified by our lives. 

This may be shocking to some readers, but consider that it was God’s perfect will—Dare I say, consider it was God’s Plan A for us to adopt Brandon so that God’s name might be glorified through an unfortunate circumstance? I think of the strength and character that Brandon  has as a result of his past.  I think of the compassion he has for others as a result of his past.  I think of the wisdom beyond his 11 years of age as a result of his past.  Most importantly, I’m praying it was God’s means to bring Brandon to America so that he might hear the Gospel, one day repent of his sins and serve the One, True God all the rest of his life.   

Who are we to say that God’s Plan A should have been this or that?  I could argue that it was God’s Plan A for my first born child (who is Katie) to have been a boy.  God messed up and gave me Plan B, a girl.  Or God’s Plan A should have been that Brandon’s parents in Ukraine would have had a lot of money and could have cared for him.  But I guess God was not powerful enough to ensure adequate finances for his parents in Ukraine, so Plan B was that we swept in from America and rescued the poor, orphan boy.   

The Bible states that His ways are way higher than our ways, that no human can know the mind of God perfectly, that what man sees as evil, God intends to work that of good.....So while I can't even adequately begin to explain why God would use terrible circumstances to accomplish His purposes, He does and he will accomplish His purpose in our son's life!  

The Bible has examples of this all through the Old Testament.  Look at Job, Joseph, Moses, Abraham, David and many other examples.  In the New Testament there are the lepers, the blind, the deaf, the dumb that Jesus Christ healed. Paul alone is a great example of God using circumstances to accomplish His purpose. God’s power, grace and love are proven in each of these examples. If we truly know God’s word, it will begin to affect our worldview and it should help us to see God's sovereignty and power more completely.

In short, I believe God absolutely chose Brandon to be part of our family before the foundation of the world.  Brandon was fearfully and wonderfully made.  Nothing about his existence or his past circumstances caught God off guard or caused Him to need to come up with a "backup plan." I can’t wait to see how God is going to work out His perfect “Plan A” in Brandon’s life or in our lives because of Brandon.


  1. Just read your blog on mom's cell. I told her "Boy Carinda sure is smart!!!" I agree with you and God had a plan from the dawn of time. I wish and pray that Curry's will get their "blessing" too.

  2. I agree 100% !!!

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