Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Do You Love Me?

All boy and full of tease! :)

With every family change, such as adoption, there is a range of emotions.  These are part of the growing pains.  I believe when you have THREE daughters, this range of emotions is a bit more exaggerated.  One by one the girls have taken their turns getting their feelings hurt and crying, “I don’t think Brandon likes me.  He’s always picking on me and rough.”  I am well aware of what Brandon is doing and I, personally, do not think that he is being overly rough or unkind.  For the most part, they instigate and he puts up with a lot before he retaliates.  It is always in playful spirit and never intentionally hurts them.  He is a strong boy and does not know his own strength or how sensitive little girls are.  When he does hurt them or see them cry, he is quick to say “sorry” and smile.  He is used to roughhousing with boys in an orphanage playground setting. 
Considering all that, I think he is doing very well!  As the girls come to me in tears, one by one I have explained to them that we are still all just adjusting to each other.  Brandon is not used to having three little sisters who are so touchy-feely.  They show their love by stroking his hair, scratching his back or hugging on him. They all 3 compete for his attention and in doing so, smother the poor boy.  Conversely they are not used to a brother who shows his love and attention by teasing, laughing at them or playing rough.  Each time they come to me crying I explain to them that Daddy, Uncle Billy and Uncle Steve were just as rough with Aunt Bethie (and she would probably tell you they were even less gracious with her and her feelings), yet all 3 brothers loved their sister dearly.  As adults they are in regular contact and can’t wait to spend time together….AND the best part is, they still show their love and attention by teasing, laughing and playing rough with her.
Tonight while the kids were playing each of the girls asked Brandon "Do you like me?" He said “Yes” to each of them individually and smiled real shy. Katie was extra brave and needed just a bit more reassurance and asked "Do you LOVE me?" to which he answered each sister "Yes. Love you." The girls really needed to hear that from him.
(Sigh.) All is well in the Kerr Household.  The girls know they are loved by their brother.
Kylie instigating

Haley joining in

Playful teasing

Kylie and Brandon taking a break

Brandon finally retaliating--he picked Kylie up and threw her in

Kylie picking on Brandon

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