Saturday, March 16, 2013

Words Hurt

Cyber-bullying seems to be running ramped in our world today.  I have read numerous articles of teen-age girls committing suicide over cyber-bullying.  Perhaps you’ve heard of Dardenne Prairie, Amanda Todd and Erin Gallagher.  All of these young girls killed themselves because COWARDS sitting behind a computer screen bullied these girls to death.  What a waste of precious, young life!!  Words hurt, people.

The Bible says in James 3:8, “It (the tongue) is restless and evil, full of deadly poison.”  Psalm 140:3 says, “They make their tongues as sharp as serpent’s, the poison of vipers is on their lips.  Romans 3:13,   “Their throats are open graves, their tongues practice deceit.”  James 1:26, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not control his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” Honestly if someone cannot control their tongue, it is a mockery to Christianity. Words hurt like deadly poison!

Back when I was a teen it was all I could handle to have rumors spread about me within my school by word of mouth.  I can’t imagine being a teenager today and having photos sent of me, comments made and lies spread about me through the Internet, blogs, Facebook, Twitter and text messaging.  This cyber-bullying is happening A LOT and sadly it can be more overwhelming than when I was a teen because it’s bringing the bully (or many bullies) right into the home (electronically).  I’ve heard recently about this in our own area schools.

It is almost daily that I turn on Facebook and I see people publicly blasting pastors, teachers and fellow Christians.  Our pastor has said from the pulpit that in over 20 years of serving in the military, he never experienced as hateful of words as he has experienced from Christians in the 6 years he has been a pastor.  This is truly sad.  Let me repeat:  Christians are criticizing and publicly mutilating other Christians.  This ought NOT TO BE.

More recently through this blog, I have begun to experience “adult” cyber-bullying.  It would seem people enjoy coming to this blog, and posting anonymous comments blasting my family.  These people have nothing better to do with their time than to send vicious cyber-threats to a grieving family.  

Similarly, it would seem it is enjoyable for others to blast me from their own blogs.   These are people claiming to be “Christians,” they are fellow adoptive parents or they are people who I would consider to be friends.  These people are using their tongues and blog platform to cause great discouragement to me.  I will no longer be following these people or their blogs because I no longer see their entries as edifying.

1st Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, don’t tear each other down.” It seems we have a choice.  We can use our blog platforms to encourage other families who are in the same boat as we are, or we can nitpick and point out every mistake (we believe) other parents have made.  Sure, we have rights in America to have freedom of speech.  But Christians MUST guard their tongues and not use them to tear down other Christians. 

Everyone is going to have an opinion about something.  However, I would argue that not every opinion is edifying.  So keep it to yourself.  “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all.”  If the issue is something that needs to be addressed, I would encourage other Christians to go to the other Christian PERSONALLY and non-confrontationally and express those opinions.   Once those opinions are expressed, drop it.  If the opinion comes up over and over, it then becomes bullying.

It is my desire that those reading this blog will be encouraged. I hope it is also sometimes a challenge to believers.  I try to balance my writings to reflect the good and the bad of my family to keep it real.  Other adoptive families do not need to read about a picture-perfect adoption or family.  NO FAMILY IS PERFECT.  Also, I do not put EVERY detail of EVERY struggle we are having.  Some things are just too confidential and should be kept quiet.   

I realize there are always going to be negative people in this world and that by having an open and honest blog it will worsen the blow from the public.   However, know that I hold other Christians to a higher standard regarding the tongue.  My desire with this blog is to live out 1st Thessalonians 5:14: “Admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak and be patient with them all.” Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”  Finally, it is my desire that the Gospel be seen and heard often from this platform.  “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope” Romans 15:13.


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