Q & A #2: What are your thoughts about Postpartum
Depression?
One topic that is not talked about a whole lot in blogging
circles or Christian circles is Postpartum Depression. Perhaps many mothers are too afraid to be transparent
about it or perhaps they do not see it as a “real disorder.” Whatever the
reason, there is a severe lack of awareness and information on the topic.
Obviously I am neither a doctor nor an expert on the
subject. I did attain a certificate in
Christian Counseling through Liberty University and the topic of Postpartum
Depression (PPD) did come up in my classes.
I am happy to share some of my notes and thoughts on the topic with you.
Postpartum Depression Defined
Postpartum Depression (PPD) is a type of depression that
women experience soon after giving birth that can occur up to 2 years after the
birth of the child. Like most forms of
depression the symptoms are sadness, hopelessness, guilt or feeling sad and
hopeless, trouble sleeping or sleeping too much, feeling overwhelmed, lack of
interest in the child, over-obsessing over the child, uncontrollable crying,
fear of harm to the child, thoughts of harming the child, and the list could go
on. Many mothers can experience some of
the above symptoms without actually having PPD, but if there are several of
these symptoms happening, definitely it is best to see a doctor to rule out PPD.
Risk factors of PPD
I learned in college that there are a lot of things which
can increase the risk of having PPD.
Some of these risks are a difficult pregnancy or delivery, single moms,
or moms without a support system (i.e. military moms with deployed husbands), prior
history of depression, prior history of low self-esteem, recent abnormal life
stress such as a recent divorce, financial hardship or relocation, lack of
sleep, poor maternal relationship, perfectionism, former emotional trauma such
as the loss of a family member to death or miscarriage, and an
unplanned/unwanted pregnancy.
Causes of PPD
At the time of my course, there was a lack of a concrete
cause for PPD. New studies are always
coming out and they all seem to draw different conclusions. Some studies have shown that it is a hormonal
imbalance after delivering a baby. Other
studies say it is a lack of nutrition or a vitamin deficiency. Some say it is
hereditary. It remains a mystery because
some mothers have all the risk factors and do not experience PPD, and others
have hardly and risk factors, yet they experience PPD. Some mothers will have PPD for one of their
children, but then not with their other children.
Wrong Perspectives
Though I’ve never experienced PPD myself, I have had friends
who have. The biggest thing that I hear
from mothers who suffer from PPD is that they feel guilty for having the
disorder and emotions that come along with the disorder. They know in their hearts they have been
given a blessing of a child, and they don’t understand why they can’t just “snap
out of it.” Conversely, I have also heard people who have never suffered from
PPD say that the mothers who do claim to have PPD are just faking an illness or
that they are just lazy mothers. I say
both of these ideas are wrong perspectives and I believe both the guilt and the
judgment of mothers with PPD are giving a door to the enemy.
False Guilt is Sin
False guilt is actually a sin because it manifests
unforgiveness in the individual mother’s heart and judgment directed at her own
self. Think about that for a moment. That is a burden too hard for any new mom to
bear. Colossians 3:12 & 13 says, “Put
on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,
kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving
each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive.” This compassion,
kindness and forgiveness Paul talks about that should be extended toward others
needs to also be given to oneself.
Accept
that Mothering Can Be Stressful
We live in a sin-fallen world and PPD is a result of our
flesh just like any other illness. The
devil loves to get a hold on young mothers and lock them in a cage of
guilt. In my opinion being a mother is
the greatest gift and blessing possible to humankind! However, it is also traumatic to the human
body. Hormones are all over the place. The
mother’s body is sore and it is changing. Having a new baby is a huge change to the
mother’s life and the entire family dynamics.
Mothers are deprived of nourishment many times (since baby gets the
nourishment first), and mothers are deprived of sleep. I can promise you that any thought or emotion
you are feeling has been felt before by many mothers that came before this
generation. New moms need to give
themselves permission to have crazy emotions sometimes and to feel like they
are failing. We are always the hardest
on ourselves.
Accept Help
I remember when my girls were first born I didn’t want any help
from anyone. I’ve always been very independent and I wanted to bond and do
everything myself. I did not want to
have my new baby out of my sight at all.
However, I am also glad I did allow the help. Even a few hours to myself did wonders for my
body and mood. When a new mom feels rested,
that is when she can give her very best to her new baby and rest of her family.
There are times when
moms need to get help from professionals.
I have heard that the 3 hardest things to say are “I’m sorry,” “I
forgive you” and “Help me.” With PPD, please don’t be afraid to ask for help. Denying
a problem does not make the problem go away. In the Bible it talks about “examining
ourselves” so that we can become more like Christ. Take the time to examine yourself and acknowledge
if there is a problem. Find comfort in
knowing that you are not a horrible mother because you are walking through a
dark time in your life. Help can come
from medicine, diet, exercise or just going to a trusted friend to “vent” or share
the emotions.
Believe in God’s Promises
Finally, God cares! Isaiah 41:10 says “Fear not; for I am
with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God; I will strengthen you and I
will help you and I will uphold you with the right hand of my
righteousness.” Those are some pretty incredible promises from God Almighty!!
Psalm 40 declares that God heard David’s cry and brought him out of the
miserable clay and placed his feet high on a rock so he was once again steady
in his walk. If God did that for David, He can do it for you as well! God is SO good and He loves you and your new
baby. Stop giving the devil the victory
by locking yourself in a cage of guilt. Accept
help! This dark time is not
forever! By taking care of yourself and
your physical and emotional health you are doing the very best for your temple
that God has given you and you are doing what is best for your new precious
bundle! Proverbs 31:10 “Your worth is
FAR ABOVE rubies.” Don’t forget it!
